Seven.
Time heals all wounds?
I am still very aware of my wound. Seven years. Lots of therapy. Lots of Jesus. There is still a wound. I have learned how to care for it. It is smaller than it once was. It is not a scar. It is a wound- it oozes.
I miss Anna. I ache for Anna. Her sweet face burns my heart and mind and I ache for her. I know where she is- there is hope! I know who she is with- there is joy! I am enraptured by the truths of her vitality, her completeness, her value and purpose. There is joy. There is hope. There is a wound.
What do I say about grief after seven years? What do I feel this February 2012 as I approach Anna’s seventh BIRTHday? What title do I give these many feelings and thoughts bound together in a post? Today the words that rise with the steam on this boiling pot of grief are, There is a Wound.
I chase my three tow-headed boys around the house who have just told me that the only Kelty family rule is to “Be Ticklish.” There is laughter. There is fullness. There is a wound.
I watch my husband speak with gender gentleness to my sweet baby niece…pushing through pain for more healing. There is new life. There is new ground. There is a wound.
Friends give the joyous news that a baby girl is growing within. I rejoice. I remember. I surrender my longing for a daughter yet once again. There is comfort. There is hope. There is a wound.
I beg the God of all comfort to hold Raegan as she rocks in the misery of 4 week old grief, wondering how she will survive the agony of intolerable ache. I rock. I am impaled with empathy. I love. There is a wound.
I am enveloped in the tender presence of God in the sorrow that remains. He speaks into the pain. Words give birth to peace…to strength. He wipes up the ooze. There is a wound.
Is the goal to heal from the wound or is the goal to be ever aware of the wound- to come to the wounded healer- to minister from fresh doses of holy salve to the wound? Will it ever be just a scar? Do I want it, need it, to be a story of I once…or do I want it to be a story of… I am? I love Jesus in the I am. There is a Savior for the I am.
Grace is absolutely sufficient.
There is a wound.
Seven.
Karla says
Love you, Kate Kelty…I know you will find Him absolutely willing every time–to care, to tend, to comfort. Aching for you and your Anna.