There is a Wound

Seven.
Time heals all wounds?
I am still very aware of my wound.  Seven years.  Lots of therapy.  Lots of Jesus.  There is still a wound.  I have learned how to care for it.  It is smaller than it once was.  It is not a scar.  It is a wound- it oozes.
I miss Anna.  I ache for Anna.  Her sweet face burns my heart and mind and I ache for her.  I know where she is- there is hope!  I know who she is with- there is joy!  I am enraptured by the truths of her vitality, her completeness, her value and purpose.  There is joy.  There is hope.  There is a wound.
What do I say about grief after seven years?  What do I feel this February 2012 as I approach Anna’s seventh BIRTHday?  What title do I give these many feelings and thoughts bound together in a post?  Today the words that rise with the steam on this boiling pot of grief are, There is a Wound.
I chase my three tow-headed boys around the house who have just told me that the only Kelty family rule is to “Be Ticklish.” There is laughter.  There is fullness. There is a wound.
I watch my husband speak with gender gentleness to my sweet baby niece…pushing through pain for more healing.  There is new life.  There is new ground.  There is a wound.
Friends give the joyous news that a baby girl is growing within.  I rejoice.  I remember.  I surrender my longing for a daughter yet once again.  There is comfort.  There is hope.  There is a wound.
I beg the God of all comfort to hold Raegan as she rocks in the misery of 4 week old grief, wondering how she will survive the agony of intolerable ache.  I rock. I am impaled with empathy. I love.  There is a wound.
I am enveloped in the tender presence of God in the sorrow that remains.  He speaks into the pain. Words give birth to peace…to strength.  He wipes up the ooze.  There is a wound.
Is the goal to heal from the wound or is the goal to be ever aware of the wound- to come to the wounded healer- to minister from fresh doses of holy salve to the wound?  Will it ever be just a scar?  Do I want it, need it, to be a story of I once…or do I want it to be a story of… I am?  I love Jesus in the I am.  There is a Savior for the I am.
Grace is absolutely sufficient.
There is a wound.
Seven.

Comments

  1. says

    Love you, Kate Kelty…I know you will find Him absolutely willing every time–to care, to tend, to comfort. Aching for you and your Anna.

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