Thanksgiving When It Hurts
This is what I need as I kneel at the cross today. This is what I need as I wade through the river of tears flowing from the hearts of the broken today. He has overcome and therefore life after death is available to the wounded, the grieving, the deceived, the angry,the ill, the lonely, the rejected, the miserable and despicable. Abundant life, even in the darkest night, is available to us all. The death and resurrection of Jesus bought us that miracle and if you call on His name, it can happen to you again and again and again.
Remembering You Once Again
This week has been a hard one. I have felt lonely for her. I have felt desperate for the past to be rewritten, and yet, so very grateful for every word that has flowed from His beautiful nail scarred hand. Words like eternity and resurrection. Words like John, Ben and Elijah. Words like comfort and Jesus.
I am holding each of you in my heart today.
My dear Anna-
Help Please!
This precious boy captured my heart and thousands of others in this world…but oh how he captured his family. Theo had just turned one when Raegan flew to the Democratic Republic of the Congo in February of 2011. Her birthday was the day she received him into her arms for the first time. She stayed in Congo for five weeks and then flew back to America with her sweet Theo to bring him home to his daddy and big sister Mallaney and big brother Max. Just a few months after that he was diagnosed with Leukemia. Theo died just before his second birthday.
In 1999 Raegan and I went on a three month mission trip together to Belarus. I will never forget the day we visited a Belarussian orphanage and the tears spilled from her eyes as we loaded onto the bus to leave later that day. Though it was difficult for all of us to tell these precious ones good-bye, it was clear that Raegan’s pain and tenderness for the orphans was apart of a much greater story the Lord was writing for her life. When she married Mike a few years later, I knew this couple was destined for greatness. I have walked with Raegan and Mike in grief over the past few years of sickness and death. I love my friends deeply. I wish I could rewrite the story in a way that it made sense to me- in a way that takes away all the suffering they have endured. But God’s hand is still at work. He is still penning His beautiful script for them- still working all things, even the awful, into His redemptive plan for good.
A part of that plan is…
Isn’t this call for all of us in some way? This is an opportunity to support a family who has endured so much and to say yes to God’s call for the church to care for the orphans of our world.
C/O Jill Baker
117 North Broadway
Georgetown, KY 40324
John. Fear. And Jesus.
He was heaving and I was scared. What was the cause of this sadness from my seven-year-old boy? What disrupted his sleep and mounted him on fear and panic? The conversation began-
No words. Only sobbing.
“Johnny, I can’t comfort you and help you unless I know what you’re thinking about. Please tell me.”
He just buried his head in my lap and the weeping and shaking continued. After several minutes of continual urging, he finally uttered,
“I just can’t tell you. I can’t say it out out loud. It’s too bad.”
We talk about Anna and heaven often. I had no idea that this question would so quickly snowball into such a real and deep fear of death. John was afraid I was going to die.
Ordinary turned Extraordinary
It was an ordinary day.
But then suddenly, my wishing gives way to revelation.
The tomb that I long to be in with Jesus- I am there. In every moment of my life when my despair gives way to hope, He wakes up. In every moment of my life when darkness is pierced with light, He stands up. In every moment of my day when my sin is washed clean by His grace, the grave clothes fall, pooling at my feet and I am staring up into the face of the resurrected one and I am resurrected too.
And so…
Thank you Jesus that you come alongside of us and offer resurrection power for every weak moment we endure in this world. Thank you that you woke up from death and that you invite all who trust in you to join you in new life. Thank you Jesus that ordinary becomes extraordinary, dark becomes light and death becomes life in and through you. And all you ask is that we come.
Friends who grieve- friends who struggle- friends who stare through a dingy cup…
Come and join the extraordinary. Open your eyes to see the tomb you lay in and the one who stands before you.
Resurrection is calling.
Panic turned to Peace
Rest
I can wrestle and rest in truth- attract and repel lies. I can pronounce God’s goodness and shiver with fear in the shadows. Yes, I am a mess.
Just Give Me Jesus!
When I hush the world, all of the sorrow and screaming scenes-
Celebrating Anna
A few weeks ago so many of you prayed, comforted and loved our family during the eighth anniversary of Anna. We celebrated and grieved her life, we exalted hope and we glorified Jesus as we sat in puddles at His feet, once again, immersed in divine love.
A new year has begun and I suppose my most earnest plea as I move forward is for the strength to remain in the shadow. To do my living and breathing in the awareness of His presence just as I have grieved here. And next year, when I once again trudge through the cold and dark of February, I will know… I am already home.